5 Reasons Why Your Confidence is Low and How to Change it in Less Than a Month

Shawna-kay Mills-Trepair
4 min readAug 22, 2020

When you try to have self-confidence, you can find you struggle a lot. Especially when you try to gain it in a quick amount of time. But confidence can take time to build and there are ways to feel high in yourself as you fight through your lows.

Having Bad Posture

As unimportant as it may seem at times, it has quite an effect on your physiology and how people view you. Your mental state is the most important part of having self-confidence. You may realize that powerful and confident people always have a strong posture and demeanor. This doesn’t mean you have to stand like a sergeant, but instead sit up and stand up straight. Squaring up your shoulders and opening your chest, and making sure to walk with pride all help to circle self-assurance through your body.

You don’t dress like you deserve to

Even with the age-old expression, never judge a book by a cover, people still do. But this doesn’t mean you have to conform to traditional standards of dressing. Confidence is all internal and is displayed externally. This means wearing hoodies and baggy clothing to hide is only holding you back in life.

When you go to your closet or the store and see clothing you know will look good on you, don’t hesitate to wear it. Many may buy clothes they know will flatter them best, but will get dusty over time, but life is only lived once and you should wear what you want. When you dress in a fashion that exudes what you are trying to feel whether professionally or personality-wise, you’ll have more confidence.

Comparing yourself with people on social media

You might find yourself looking at your favorite celebrities or influencers seeing how their life looks amazing in every post. How their life is like a dream, and yours seems so average. But that’s not true. Social media is practically less than 5% of what their actual life is. When you’re comparing people’s all-time highs with your daily life, your self-esteem only will lower.

On social media, people try their hardest to look like they’re living their best life, with filters, Photoshop, and lies. Knowing that you wouldn’t post the bad times in your life, why would others? Don’t compare your life with others, especially ones you don’t know. The bigger platform some people have, the more they will filter their life. When you stop trying to compare your life to others, you’ll have more confidence in yourself.

Allowing Doubt in your Life

Time isn’t forever, and no matter how scary or numbing that sounds to you, time is consistently passing. Doubt is the number one thing that holds people back in life, in every aspect. You doubt you can do this, you doubt you are good enough for this person, you doubt you have enough skills, you doubt you’ll get accepted. You may even doubt that you have doubts. But every person does.

Knowing life is limited and thinking you’re not expert enough or good looking enough to do something will only leave you with a lifetime of regret. Say this to yourself, “I can do it.” Over and over again. Because you can. The little voice in the back of your brain will always taunt that you can’t, but you must push it away and keep going. And you’ll come to realize, you can do a lot, having that mentality will let yourself have confidence.

Being Afraid of Failure

This ties in with doubt, being afraid to fail. Being afraid that what you lack in life will lead to something bad. Failure doesn’t exactly lead to just getting a bad grade or a bad business startup, it also means simple things as rejection. Even if the rejection isn’t such a simple thing, it can be as simple as not talking to a person because you think they won’t respond to you. Why wouldn’t they? And if they didn’t, then why waste your time?

To have complete confidence in knowing you can always get back up on your feet. Being comfortable with your failures and future failures helps you not to live with doubts or fear. Because everyone fails. It’s impossible to live life without failing at some point, and at the end of the day, you’ll learn and grow from it. So embrace that you can fail, get rejected, or not be perfect at something, it will help you know you always can try again. That’s how you succeed.

So don’t let simple things hold back your self confidence. Enable yourself to be at the highest point in your life!

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Shawna-kay Mills-Trepair
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The power to be great lies in each of us. I would like to help you in becoming a better you one, one piece at a time. Are you ready to start that journey?